As a parent, you do everything in your power to protect your children. You lock all the doors in your house before going to bed. You tell them never to talk to strangers. You insist they wear helmets whenever they ride a bike. But how much time do you spend talking with them about personal safety as it relates to their bodies?
I know it’s hard talking about this specially when this subject is barley talked about in Kuwait! But let’s be honest sexual abuse is real! Yes this is happening! As horrible as it sounds it’s true!
Having conversations about personal safety with your children can prevent abuse and help them enjoy a safe childhood.
As a mom there is nothing off limits to me when it comes to my kids! I remember talking to my kids about this when they first started school by the age of 6 and then talked again about it after maybe two years, I can’t tell you how to talk to your kids, every mom has her own way to do so, and we all know what’s appropriate and what’s not! What’s a good touch and what’s a bad touch! What is ok and what is not!
In my opinion just be honest, clear, simple and talk with loads of love and in my case I always show my kids and make them feel that I got their back no matter what happens and I will always protect them with my life.
Children should know they can come to you whenever they feel confused, “icky” or uncomfortable. Children need to know that their bodies are their own and no one should touch body parts that get covered by a bathing suit, unless they are hurt and a doctor or a parent is helping them.
Help them learn the difference between a safe secret and an unsafe secret (a safe secret will eventually be told and will make everyone smile) and between tattling and reporting (reporting is OK because it involves a safety situation). And let them know that it’s ok to say NO!
Why kids don’t tell?
– They don’t think anyone would believe them.
– They don’t want to upset their parents.
– Too embaresed.
– They get told it’s a secret.
– They get told their parents knew about it.
– They get told it’s a game.
– Afraid that dad would hit them.
– They simply don’t want anyone to know.
If your child, or any child, discloses abuse to you, your first response makes all the difference in how they come to terms with the situation. Even though you may be shocked, resist the urge to react strongly to the news or display anger.
What to Say:
– “I believe you.”
– “I’m really glad that you told me. It took a lot of courage to tell me.”
– “It’s not your fault.”
– Do not promise to keep it a secret. Instead say, “We’ll work together to get you help. I will need to tell dad to help us.
May Allah protect all our children and give us the strength to face what hits us with love and courage.