HOW TO ROCK BEING A SINGLE YOUNG MOTHER!ย 

 
I became a mom when I was only 16! Yes it’s crazy, it was so not your typical teenagers life! Being a mom is the hardest job ever, and being a single young mom with two kids is even harder! Don’t get me wrong, I’m truly blessed and I love being a mom and can’t ever imagine my life any other way! 

yes it is very challenging but it’s also very rewarding in so many ways, and my favorite is the unconditional LOVE.

I have two teens, Adam is 14 and Jenna is 13 both of which are completely from different worlds.
Entering teenage hood is a challenge for both kids and mother, you can never be prepared enough! 

Have you ever asked yourself how you keep it all together and still maintain your sanity?  

  

I have!! It’s ok to lose control every now and then. I definitely had my ugly moments where I had to leave right now and then just to cry alone! Or even those days when I felt lost about my parenting skills and just wanted to stay in bed all day! Or those times when I questioned myself if i could have done more! 

It’s ok! It’s normal and that’s simply motherhood! 
I can sum up what I have learned so far in a few 
– Educate yourself as much as you can. Read, search and ask for advice but after all that, do what you think is truly right for your kids and yourself.

– Listen to your kids no matter how crazy they may sound.

– Talk to your kids about everything and don’t ever think that it’s not important or that they are too young, or whether they won’t understand or think why should I bother talking! 

If your kids don’t want to talk or open up, then create other ways to communicate. Write letters or text or make short videos if you need to communicate about something sensitive. 

– Put yourself in their place, try to understand how they would feel about certain situations.

– Be their role model.

– Let them make their own choices.

– Let them make mistakes, they will learn.

– Encourage them at all times.

– Don’t shout because they won’t listen, they will just shut down. 

– Have family meetings. Talk about family matters, bad behavior, roles and so on

– Let them have the right to negotiate on allowance, extra pocket money, curfews and chores. 

– Always teach them ethics, morals, values and respect. Therefore, they SHINE. 

Most importantly, don’t forget your passions. Remember what excites you, Remember to nurture all parts of yourself so that you truly can ROCK at being a healthy, happy mom!

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Taking Action

It feels like I will never stop talking about this!! But I hope not I hope it will end and I believe it will!
My kids and over weight, yes again! It’s like an endless process, I talked about Adam joining a boot camp and is doing really good ๐Ÿ™‚ he’s on break now because of Ramadan but he’s back in straight after inshallah.
I have been off Jenny’s back for a while now about losing weight but due to some health issues she’s having and me fearing that she would go into deep depression I had to start talking to her about it again and trying new ways to motivate her! But no way she’s so hard headed that she doesn’t wanna do anything and keeps fighting with me all the time!
I know it’s hard it’s very hard but I have to do what I have to do and I will not give up!
So me and her dad had a serious talk and decided to be kinda hard on her and give her an ultimatum that if she doesn’t agree on working with us on this issue and let us put her in a gym with a personal trainer we would take away her phone, iPad and both Cameras that she can’t live without!! Uuuuhhhh it was really hard doing this because I totally know that it’s hard for her!
I don’t know if it’s harsh to do so! But we seriously tried everything! And this is the only way left is take away her privileges away!
Will see how this goes we have a date set up with a personal trainer on Sunday and we will see how it goes! Hope are up and inshallah for the best ๐Ÿ™‚

You don’t love me anymore

It’s been a very stressful time for me these past two weeks! A lot is going on and it’s been a big mess!! Our house burned down and had to deal with the damages and cleaning and all and me being kinda homeless not getting enough sleep and all!! And kids final exams and doctors appointments it’s been seriously crazy!!
I have been snapping about everything!
Adam wasn’t ok with what was going on! He stayed quite for a few days and just gave me hurt looks every time I snapped! I could tell that he was in shock! Not use to me being this way at all! But I didn’t really think about it till yesterday when I snapped and told him he was grounded! He opened up and said I don’t know what’s with you these days! It’s like you hate me! You stopped loving me! You snap on the smallest things I do! And he started crying!!! It broke my heart! I felt so bad! I knew that I was stressed and all but I never wanted the kids to feel that I hate them or I’m mad at them!
I took a deep breath and apologized to my actions the past few days and explained why I was acting the way I did and it had nothing to do with them! I will always love them to the moon and back and even more .
After we all calmed down and the kids forgot about the subject I was thinking to my self! How did it get this bad! How dare I snap at my kids even if I was stressed out and in a bad place! My job as a mom is to take control! To protect my kids no matter what! To not involve my problems with how I act around them! I felt bad! I felt guilty! But we’re not perfect and we learn everyday especially as parents. Never let your problems come in the way you behave in front on your kids always take a deep breath and take control of your stress! Never let your stress take control of you!
I’m truly sorry Adam and Jenna
Love you more then life xoxo

Kids and exams

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My kids know that they have to study and if they don’t make time to do it! I will!! But as my kids grew older and entered the teenage hood it’s not easy to make them listen to me and do everything I tell them!! Like studying for example, when they were younger homework time was easy! And studying for exams was hard on me but they didn’t through excuses not to study!
Now Adam gives me such a hard time! I put a plan for he’s studying and for him to start takes forever!!! No matter what I say or do he won’t study and keeps giving me the worst excuses ever!!!! He wouldn’t mind staying in bed doing nothing then open a book and start studying!!
It stresses me out big time! I could easily say it’s your exam! Your grades on the line and not care and stop nagging but my heart aches and I know that he’s stressed out as well and simply not in the mood to do so! Some times we have that feeling as adults! But I know that he doesn’t know how important it is to work hard for school for a batter future! That’s why my effort with my teenagers are double the effort then when they were you younger! At the end of the day I have the worse headache! No energy at all! And not in the mood for anything!!
I’m not gonna say I tried everything! Cuz really can we ever get to trying everything as parents with our kids? No but I have tried a lot to fix this problem but some failed from the start and some worked for a little while but nothing worked as magic!
But really as parents we should know better! Their no magic in raising our kids I wish their was but NO!! That’s what makes being a good and great parent is all about ๐Ÿ˜‰

Communicating through letters

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Kids grow fast and everyday is a challenge with them!
I have always had a difficult time communicating with my baby Jenny and I have tried and tried but it’s like nothing works! It’s hurts so bad that I can’t let my girl open up to me and talk to me about her feelings or her attitude! But i kept trying new ways, kept reading for help and brain storming for ideas!
A few weeks ago she had one of her attitude attacks and looked her self in the bathroom! I tried talking to her but she kept ignoring me! So I left her alone and decided not to talk to her all day and try to have a talk with her the next day Which I did I kept talking for 30 min with no respond from here so I was like listen Jenny! Maybe it’s hard for you to talk and express your feelings! Maybe you just don’t like to do it! So here is a pen and paper and I want you to write what you feel so I can understand!! And I can help you! I left and after a few hours I went upstairs and found a letter near the bed and guess what!!!!
She finally expressed her feelings! I was so happy I swear it was like a miracle! So I wrote her a letter back and have it to her after that we talked again and I told her I noticed that she feels batter talking through writing so that’s what we’re gonna do now, we are gonna write to each other.
After so many try’s I finally found a way to communicate with my baby girl! Ya maybe it’s not the best way but at least she’s expressing her feelings to me so I can help her through what she’s going through and so I can know how to deal with her and know the best way to get to her ๐Ÿ˜‰ I hope it will work out and makes her feel comfortable after awhile to really open up to me by talking to me face to face
Kids are a handful but never give up and always take it easy I know it’s stressful sometimes and believe you me some time I do break down cuz I feel like everything I do is not working but you got to keep focus on what’s best for the kids and always have hope and be positive after you have your 15 minutes of crying wipe your tears and get back out there and know deep inside that you will rock it cuz your in control ๐Ÿ˜‰